Geek's Bearing Gifts
by TheSlayerInTheTardis
Summary: Jenny, the Doctor's daughter, dreams of adventure but when her ship's engine fails, it looks like she's found herself some pretty unusual friends. Join the adventure as the boys from the Dwarf get a new crewmate. But do they know everything there is to know about our favourite living Time Lady? Please read and review!
1. Presumably Human (or Jenny)

**Chapter 1:** Presumably human [or Jenny]

**Jenny, the Doctor's daughter, dreams of adventure but when her ship's engine fails, it looks like she's found herself some pretty unusual friends. Join the adventure as the boys from the Dwarf get a new cremate. But do they know everything there is to know about our favourite living Time Lady? Set just after 'The Doctor's Daughter' for Jenny and mid-season 3 for the Dwarfers. Rimmer is a hard-light hologram and yes, Holly is a woman.**

* * *

'Mr Lister, sir.' Called Kryten worriedly, glancing at a radar screen from his seat in the cockpit.

'Can this wait 'till later? I'm a bit busy at the moment.' He shouted from beyond the doorway.

'Not really, Mr Lister, Sir.' he sighed. 'It's an emergency.' You never really knew with Kryten what the matter was. An emergency either meant the potatoes are burning or the ship has crashed, were running out of oxygen and you and the Cat are both going to die.

'What is it, Kryten?' Lister asked exasperated, sticking his head around the doorway.

'There's a ship outside, no bigger than Star-bug, requesting permission to land. They're low on supplies. Look, incoming message.'

'Hello,' Said a beautiful blonde woman flashing onto the screen. 'Can I come aboard?' She batted her eyelids. 'I think there's a problem with my engine and supplies are running low.' The message flashed off. It was a recording.

'Don't like the look of her,' Holly said jealously, also appearing on the screen.

'How shall I respond, sir?' Asked Kryten.

'Say yes!' Dave replied like it should be obvious. 'We've talked about this. Beautiful woman needs our help, what do we always say?'

'Yes, sir.'

'Good, Krytes. She is human, isn't she?' Dave checked suspiciously.

'Presumably.'

* * *

Jenny grinned. Finally, she'd landed. Despite having absolutely no idea where she was, Jenny could feel the adrenalin that shot from her both hearts, pumping through her veins. She thought she might burst with excitement. An adventure was underway. Without a moment's hesitation, Jenny flung open the doors of her ship. Her Tardis.

'Hello,' said a face on a computer screen. Jenny's wide smile dropped. Her first adventure off into the stars and what does she get? A ditzy computer woman.

'Hello,' Jenny said politely, with a sweet but fake smile.

'Who are you then?' Asked the woman from the screen. She had mid length blonde hair and red lips. What Jenny found strange is that she was only a head. She couldn't tell if it was a conference with somebody in another part of this run-down ship (and, looking around, this ship was _really _run down) she found herself in or whether she was actually communicating with an artificial intelligence.

'Jenny,' she said proudly without hesitating, her back straight and her chin high. 'And you are?'

'I'm Holly,' said the woman. 'The ship's computer.' Jenny nodded. So she _was_ talking to an artificial intelligence. 'I have an IQ of 6000.' Wow.

'That's nice,' Jenny said awkwardly, feeling she should share something with the woman. 'I have two hearts.'

'I know,' lied Holly, Jenny could tell she was lying. 'I did a scan.' Jenny looked around. It didn't look exactly alien here, but then again, she was a genetically modified toy soldier made from the DNA of a Time Lord designed to fight in a seven day war so all in all, alien didn't seem to far from home. Wherever home was, anyway.

Judging from the technology, Jenny supposed she must be in some sort of ship, but she'd guessed that already. She wondered briefly why they'd let her on board so easily, but whoever they were didn't seem too dangerous. _I mean, _Jenny thought, _look! They have a 'Talkie Toaster'. _ The doorway clicked open. For a moment this startled Jenny but she tried to look calm.

'Hello,' Said a strange looking man putting emphasis on the 'O'. He was wearing a red uniform and would have looked pretty uptight if it wasn't for the letter 'H' tattooed to his forehead.

'Hi,' Said another man. He was shorter than the first 'H' guy but looked equally ridiculous. He was wearing a leather jacket and had dreadlocks at the back of his hair.

'Hello, Mam.' Said… something. He was roughly humanoid in shape, black body armour and a strange shaped head that looked like deformed play-dough.

'Wowza.' Said the final man to walk through the doors which shut behind them. Jenny now realised why the computer was a woman. The fourth guy was bright in peach and black in a retro looking suit. He was strangely jumpy and had… fangs? What was he a vampire? _Ha!_

They were all, bar the robot (the third to speak with the weird head – Jenny had by this point assumed he was an android or something similar), presumably Human.

'Oh, go on.' Said the computer. 'Go ogle her while I just sit here playing chess with myself. Don't have anything better to do, do I?'

'Chess?' Asked Jenny. _Chess?_

'I'm losing.' Said Holly bitterly. How could she loose to herself? It occurred to Jenny she was not all there. Not completely functioning, being a computer and everything. There was no way her IQ was 60, let alone 6000.

'I'm Dave,' Said the second man to Jenny, in the leather. He had a cheeky grin plastered across his face. He motioned to the man with the 'H' on his head. 'This is Smeg-head.'

'Hey!' He yelled with a scorching look. Dave took no notice of this. 'Second technician Arnold J. Rimmer. Arnie. Ace.'

'Bell-end.' Dave muttered. Jenny stifled a giggle.

'And I'm Kryten, mam.' Said the Robot.

'I'm the Cat!' he said excitedly, the man in the peach. His grin was so wide. _Cat? Wow, _Jenny thought. _Actually, that made sense. They'd evolved!_

'Nice to meet you all,' She replied, walking towards them. 'Where are we then?' Jenny walked past them into a long grey corridor. They followed her.

'Charming!' She heard Holly yell from behind them.

'The mining ship Red Dwarf, mam.' Said Kryten contently.

'We're the crew,' Dave added. Jenny turned around to look at them, confused at their small number. Surely the ship was far too big for just those four.

'What? _Just you_?' She asked.

'Yes,' Said Rimmer smugly in a flirty voice. 'That's a big responsibility.' The Cat bounded off in the opposite direction.

'I'm sure it is,' Jenny said, unsure how to reply. He struck her as a bit of an idiot, to be honest, but harmless.

'Where's the rest of _your _crew?' Asked Dave. Jenny laughed slightly to herself.

'Don't need one.' She grinned. 'Small ship.'

'Oh,' he replied. 'Have you been flying long?' Jenny shook her head.

'No, actually,' she said smiling. 'First time out. Been flying for days though, Space is pretty big – Okay, so I should have bought supplies.' She smiled like a child caught doing something she shouldn't be. 'Space travel's kind of the, er… family business.' She said truthfully. 'Just thought I'd check out your ride.' Jenny flirted. What was the harm in a little flirting? No one got hurt. 'Any chance of a tour?'

'Maybe later, mam.' Said Kryten.

'Kryten!' Shouted Dave.

'Don't be rude! Jenny is our guest.' Added Arnold, smiling smugly at her.

'But I said I would repair the engine.' Kryten was clearly oblivious.

'Well then, we'll give the tour.' Lister grinned. 'You go look at the engine.'

'You got lost on your way to the laundry room not three days ago, sir.'

'Fine Kryten, you go fix the engine and I'll show Jenny the sleeping quarters.' Said Arnold.

'Actually, I don't mind helping with the engine.' Jenny added to stop conflict. 'I'm not too bad at all that sciencey-stuff.' They began to walk along the corridor again backwards to the room she'd landed in, making small talk along the way. She was convinced at least two of them fancied her already, but that was alright.

When they got back to her Tardis Jenny noticed the room was a tip. She'd already know she wasn't the best at parking, actually – Jenny looked embarrassed as she realised she'd trashed the place.

'Oh look at this mess!' Kryten exclaimed. Dave shook his head and Rimmer looked sour. 'I can't wait 'till your gone, mam. I get to clean it all by myself.'

'Right,' Jenny said, confused. 'Shall we take a look inside her, then?'

'Of course, mam.' Said Kryten.

'Can I do anything to help?' Asked Dave, Kryten looked at him as if he'd gone completely mad and so did Arnold. The three began to argue slightly. Jenny walked around to the back side of the ship and smiled proudly. She pulled a screwdriver from her pocket and zapped. It was only a prototype but she'd been working on it since she set off and it was coming along nicely. She'd lied to the crew, it hadn't been days, it had been weeks. Like she'd said, space was big.

The noise from the screwdriver silenced the men along with the pink glowing light that shone from one end. The lid of the engine clicked and Jenny lifted it up, beaming.

'That technology is way beyond my understanding, mam.' Said Kryten. Jenny puffed up proudly.

'Yeah, mine 'n' all.' Added Dave. Smoke began to pour from the engine and Jenny stumbled back, coughing. Instantly Dave and Arnold were at her side.

Kryten began inspecting her engine and sighed.

'This ship isn't going anywhere, mam. You're lucky to have landed when you did.'

'Yeah,' Jenny said awkwardly. She had no idea how long she would have to stay with these strange people before she got out there and actually got to go off and have adventures. But from judging from her poor, beaten ship, no time soon. 'Lucky…'

* * *

'And this is the laundry room!' Beamed Kryten. 'It's my favourite place to come when my happiness chips aren't operating correctly. And of course,' He turned to the washing machine. 'The company is wonderful!' Jenny sighed. This was not what she had in mind.

'Oh and look, mam! Here Mr Lister's underwear come now!'

'Wonderful.' She replied dryly.

'Isn't it?' He said happily, unaware of her sarcasm. 'I'm so sorry the Mr Lister and Mr Rimmer couldn't find it for you earlier, mam.' Jenny nodded trying to look sincere.

'No problem.'

'I'm sure you'll be perfectly comfortable here. '

* * *

**Thanks so much for reading! Appreciate it SO much. Can you please just spend like 30 seconds reviewing – PLEASE! Any criticism welcome, would just love some feedback on how I presented the characters –especially since I'm new to the Dwarf fandom and well, there is only the one episode with Jenny in it. Either way, I hoped you liked and if you did, new chapter soon.**

_**THANKS!**_ _**:D**_


	2. Practically a Dwarfer

**Chapter 2:** Practically a Dwarfer

'Y'alright?' Dave asked strolling through the doorway. He walked breezily into her newly claimed quarters and looked at Jenny's plain room. Only briefly glancing at him from the corner of her eye, Jenny continued to unpack her few belongings from the rucksack she'd tossed on the bed.

'Yes, thanks.' Jenny replied a small smile tickling the corners of her mouth. 'So,' she began and spun around to face him. 'What do you guys do around here for fun exactly?' It had been exactly two hours since she'd been invited to stay. Jenny had had the tour a la Kryten and been assigned a choice of quarters. Later she planned on searching threw some of the old crew's lockers – it's not like thy needed any of it. 'Thank you, by the way.' She said with her sweetest smile.

Lister felt off balance. Wow, she was beautiful. 'Wh… Well, yeah, no problem. Sorry, for what?'

'Letting me stay.' She said happily. 'Not forever, though.' She grinned cheekily. For a while it was quiet and Jenny thought about where she'd go once her ship finally got fixed.

'So, where are you from then?' He asked casually. His question caught her off guard. He was clearly making some human attempt to get to know her better. Jenny faltered.

'Er… er… Everywhere, really. I just sort of travel.' Jenny supposed that would do. After all, it wasn't exactly a lie. She really wanted to just get out there and see the stars.

'But originally, though?' Jenny's hears began thumping. Before Jenny could answer, before she could even think of an answer Kryten walked through her door. Jenny sighed.

'Hello Mr Lister, sir; Miss Jenny.' Kryten greeted them both. Jenny had finished tiding her things by now and supposed she should be glad of the company. Lister said a quick hello to Kryten.

'Just Jenny, thank you Krtyten.' She corrected.

'Of course, Mam.' Jenny shook her head and tried not to snigger. 'I've just finished the ironing and was wondering if you'd like any help unpacking.' He was sweet in a weird sort of mechanical way. Jenny supposed she would get used to him, he was the sort of person (well… robot) who grew on you.

'Done now.' Jenny smiled and nodded to her bare quarters.

'Of course, mam. Then I'll start the diner preparations. Any requests?' Jenny shook her head. Kryten left, followed shortly by Lister.

'I'll give you some space then,' he said before he left. Although it wasn't perfect, Jenny knew she might actually like it here. Okay, the ship wasn't in the best condition, and the company; well they were a bit…. And, alright, the computer hated her, the chance of seeing planets and having adventures were slim but to her own surprise, Jenny could actually see herself living here; if only for a while. There's no way she could stay with these people for more than a few months, though. No way.

* * *

Rimmer lay on his bunk, smiling. 'She's amazing, isn't she, Holl?' He asked said absent-mindedly, a half smile spread across his face as his mind wandered and toured their new member. He thought about her body, face, her lips, her legs.

'S'alright.' Holly mumbled looking bored.

'"S'alright"!? "S'alright"!?"' Rimmer demanded with a look of angry horror, drawing Holly's attention. He shot off the bunk to stand facing the computer. 'She's majestic! She's strong, and clever – I mean she has to be to run a ship alone – and beautiful, so beautiful. She's just… amazing!' For a minute it was quiet.

'So what makes you think she'd go for someone like you then?' Asked Holly.

'Hey!' Rimmer spat. He focused for a second. 'Well, it's not like she has options is it. Middle of deep space, the Android version of Norman Bates, a cat with brains the size of a garden pea, _Lister_ or me, second technician aboard Red Dwarf, the highest ranking crew member. Who would you choose, Holly?'

'You're right, Arnold.' Holly lied and then flashed off of the screen.

'Course I'm right,' Rimmer continued even though he was alone. He turned to the mirror, smiled smugly and saluted.

* * *

Jenny didn't sleep well during the night. She had this nagging sensation, the sort Time Lady's get, she'd pondered, that all was not well. She could sense something was coming, or at least, that's what she'd thought.

She'd had dinner with the crew, that was sort of nerve wracking. She didn't much care for what Kryten had served, though; Space Weevil. She'd actually eaten something called space weevil. She didn't even want to think about it. After, she'd headed straight for her quarters, showered, changed and gotten some sleep. Or at least, tried too. She just felt like something wasn't right.

Jenny wasn't really sure what she knew was coming. Maybe she was nervous. Or maybe it was the Space Weevil coming back on her. But Jenny could have sworn she sensed something.

In reluctance, Jenny tossed the covers off of the top bunk she'd claimed and made her way along the corridor. The first person she saw was the Cat.

'Hi,' she smiled politely.

'Oww!' The Cat practically squared. Jenny just smiled in tolerance. 'Can ya smell that?' He asked excitedly, stepping closer to her.

'Can't say I do,' She answered honestly. 'Sorry.' The Cat looked worried.

'Asteroid attack!' Jenny knew she had every right to be worried! That must be what she sensed. 'Except their not asteroids,' Or not. 'They're missiles.' Maybe… 'Nothing's shown up on the scanner yet.' Probably not, she decided. 'But I can smell 'em.'

'Cat,' she said, her patience wearing thin. 'Who the hell would want to shoot you?' The Cat stared at her with wide eyes. 'Well it's not me! Who'd want to shoot me?' She shouted. Who would want to kill her? The Cat shrugged. Alright, who _with the appropriate transport and tracking equipment_ would want to kill her? No one. That's who. 'Shall I go worn the others?'

'I've told Kryten and Lister but not goal-post-head! Yow, I've gotta go!'

'Oh. Rimmer? I'll have a look for him. I'll bet he's in his quarters, right?' The Cat nodded and skittered down the hallway.

'Oww!' He cried hitting an even higher note as Jenny walked briskly in the other direction, she picked up her pace and perched herself gracefully on the doorway cock pit.

'Kryten?' She cooed although he was the only one (aside Holly) who her charm had no effect on.

'Yes, mam?'

'Seen Rimmer?' she asked sweetly.

'Yes, Mam.' He replied, not taking his eyes from the control panel he was so intent on.

'Great.' Jenny smiled.

'He's about this high, repulsive looking, sticky out ears and stupid curly hair.' Kryten motioned all the different listed features and Jenny sighed. She rubbed the bridge of her nose and shook her head.

'Right thanks, but I meant today. Have you seen Rimmer _today_?' She was careful to explain it to Kryten fully.

'Oh yes mam,' Jenny grinned. 'He's wearing his pretend admiral suit to impress you mam,'

'Thanks Kryten,' She sighed. Jenny shook her head but smirked. This was pretty easy. They all loved her and in fairness would do whatever the hell she wanted. All she had to do was warn Rimmer about the stupid missiles that probably weren't even real. 'Where is he?'

'In his and Mr Lister's quarters probably.'

Jenny headed to the afore mentioned quarters. Inside, Rimmer was standing in front of his mirror saluting himself.

'You look like a real pratt when you do that,' Jenny teased. Rimmer grinned helplessly like a puppy looking at its owner. 'Hello,' She said sweetly, balancing out her insult.

'Hi!' Rimmer virtually barked as he rushed towards her. He tried, and quite hilariously failed, to look 'cool'. 'Are you alright?' Jenny wondered for a moment why everyone was so concerned about her wellbeing. She'd only known them five minutes.

'Fine, thanks. But We think we might be under attack.' Jenny shrugged and leaned eloquently against the doorway.

Jenny smiled, she could tell something; Rimmer fancied her.

'_What?!'_

'Probably nothing. The Cat reckons they haven't even turned up on the radar. Just thought you should know.' Jenny finished with a smile as usual. She turned to walk out as Rimmer called a quick and confused 'thanks from behind her when the ground roared from under her feet.

She spun back around, a look of horror across his face.

The ship shuddered again and the pair looked at each other with wide eyes, neither of them saying a word. They sprinted, coming into contact with Lister at a turn off, into the control room. Kryten and the Cat worriedly piloted Red Dwarf, trying to steer it out of harm's way.

Pounding on the ground, walls and ceiling shook them off balance.

'Miss Jennifer, mam.' Kryten said, his voice thick with terror. 'I can't… You're ship, the designs were far in advance of our own.' Rimmer scoffed from behind her. 'You've got to take the controls.' All the blood drained from Jenny's face. She looked at Kryten as if he'd just asked her to strip naked and jump out of the air lock.

'You want me to steer her?' Jenny gasped, shocked. How could they just ask her to do that? She'd only gotten on board to freeload off of them and now look, they were asking her to save them!

'Come on, Jen, you can fly can't you?' Said Lister, pushing towards dials. By this point the pounding had got louder and the quakes even greater.

'Well, yes,' She hesitated. 'But… This is your ship.' Jenny shook her head. 'I've been here like a day!'

'Jenny!' He shouted over the noise of hurtling metal. 'You're practically a Dwarfer now! Come on!'

'We need you.' The Cat chorused.

Missiles pounded the ship like pellets from a machine gun. Red Dwarf swerved and flipped. The crew fell and tumbled to the ground. The Cat, sustaining a sharp blow to the head, passed out.

Jenny knew what she had to do. She helped people. Like her father.

'Hang on to your hat's boys,' Jenny flicked the hair from her face and staggered back to her control. 'This is gonna be a toughie.'


	3. Simulants and Sacrifice

**Chapter 3:** Simulants and Sacrifice

'How're you doing, Jen?' Lister called over the racket. He couldn't see her of the debris and rubble but he knew she was there. Kryten had taken the Cat through to the medical bay about half an hour ago. Still, he hadn't returned. Jenny groaned.

'Do you want me to -' she replied getting cut off by the sound of clanking metal. The ship was crumbling. 'Answer that?' She added after a while, her voice off key and strained and in no position to make jokes.

'Not-' Lister shouted. 'Really!'

Jenny shrieked. Metal fell from the sky and smacked the controls. And then again. And again, missing her by the narrowest of margins. She didn't know how much time she had left – it looked hopeless.

'What're we going to do?' Rimmer yelled from his control centre but no one answered. Red Dwarf shook again.

For quite some time, it was quiet, aside the noise of falling parts and pieces of metal. No one said anything, though: there was nothing _to_ say.

Kryten bustled through the door looking flustered; eyes rolling; head dented. 'Incoming message, sirs, mam.' He gushed. No one questioned how he knew or where he'd been.

Jenny, manning the main controls, hit a series of buttons. The profile of a man flashed onto the screen with black hair and blacker eyes; flawless pale skin and a frown that seemed to be set in stone. Jenny shuddered. He was just … creepy! She wondered briefly who he was and whether he was like her; searching for adventure. But she supposed not, either way that would be answered later. Her biggest concern was why he was attacking. And that was definitely not good.

He turned his face front on. Jenny saw a long scar along the side of his cheek – but it wasn't a scar, it was a crack. A long metal crack almost splitting his face in half. Jenny gasped. It was repulsive.

'Our scanners picked up human life forms. Prepare to be obliterated.' The screen went blank again. Jenny looked at the others, scared. The floor shuddered again.

'No,' Said Rimmer, shaking his head. 'No. They can't be.' Missiles splintered the ship sounding like rain shattering glass. It was silent for a few seconds; aside the creaking of the wheel Jenny was spinning ferociously. It was spinning round and round almost as much as her head.

'Be what?' She asked, her throat knotted with apprehension. She knew he had to be some sort of machine – which? She didn't know. Everyone heard her, they looked worriedly around but no one would answer her. 'What?!' She demanded. She ship continued to tremor violently.

'Simulants!' Lister yelled at the top of his lungs. More metal fell around them, Jenny in particular. Something sharp grazed across her leg, cutting her but she ignored it. She had to carry on.

'They can't be simulants.' Rimmer uttered to himself but everyone heard him. The air was thick and for once the ship was still. Jenny supposed he was trying to convince himself, not them. Clearly, either way, it wasn't working.

'They are, sir.' Said Kryten. For a second Jenny ripped her eyes away from the controls but she kept her hands firmly pressed to the dials. She looked at Kryten; panic gripped his artificial face – just like the others.

'But they want to kill us, straight out.' Rimmer argued. Red Dwarf near flipped and was back to the fierce shakes. Jenny supposed this mustn't be their normal behaviour.

'God knows how long they've - he's -' Lister corrected himself, nervously. 'Been in deep space alone. He could have –'Jenny cut him off.

'Gone mad.' Jenny realized. 'They've gone mad!' Jenny spun the ship by the wheel and hit button after button but it was no use; she couldn't escape the fire.

The crew looked helpless, but Jenny had one last plan. Her hearts were practically in her throat.

'Buckle up!' She shouted, a nervous grin spread across her face. Jenny hit the brakes. The ship rocked back and forth and bullets and cannon balls cracked the side. She spiralled the Dwarf over as they came to a halt, parts crashing everywhere. She was bleeding quite heavily from her leg now but the Time Lady continued to ignore it.

'What are you doing?' Called Lister. They'd stopped moving but bullets still hit the ship like pellets.

'Mam, I have to insist-'

'Stay here.' Was all Jenny could say. She knew if she explained they would try to stop her. She unclicked the safety belt and pushed herself out of the seat. Her leg was unsteady at firs and for some reason her shoulder hurt. Despite having to limp, Jenny ran along the corridor.

Naturally they followed her at first, Lister and Kryten, that was.

'I don't think you're in any immediate danger,' She called over her shoulder, walking faster than the other three.

'Miss Jenny, mam.' Kryten said shakily. She presumed his voice unit had to be in some way damaged. 'You can't go out there.'

'Someone has to,' She replied. Jenny was a Time Lady and that meant doing the right thing. She sighed. '_I_ have to.'

'Jen,' Lister started. She hadn't realised she'd slowed before, now they'd caught up with her. 'You're going to get yourself killed.' Jenny knew this might well be true. She didn't know how many regeneration she had left. But she shrugged it off. _No one said playing the hero was easy, did they, dad? She_ thought.

'Might not,' Jenny turned to face them. Rimmer was there now, holding some sort of box – there was a screen. 'Let me do this,'

Kryten turned to Lister then and he nodded solemnly. Jenny smiled a sad smile. 'Kryten,' She said louder and with more confidence then. The missiles hadn't stopped pelting the ship but now that they'd stopped moving the floor shuddered less. Besides, it was quieter in the hallway. Jenny spun around, aware they were all behind her, and began to walk towards the escape pod. She hadn't come to know where everything was already; mostly it was just Time Lady intuition, good, common sense, and the tour Kryten had insisted she'd take. _It was coming in useful now_, she thought. 'Can you fix up a visual link with the ship's control room?'

'Yes, mam.'

'Good,' She nodded, formulating a plan. Jenny knew very well this might endanger her existence in every sense, let alone her position on the ship. After all, she hadn't exactly been honest with them, had she? But this wasn't about her. This was about doing the right thing. 'Right.'

When she got to the escape pod, she opened the hatch and sat herself down. She buckeled the belt in the seat and looked over the controles. They were fairly simple, to say the least. Maybe even that Lister could cork them. Or maybe not. Her eyes flickered up at the open hatch-doorway and the others standing in it all looking grave.,

'Are you sure about this?' Asked Rimmer. Although he looked in no position to take over from her – not that Jenny would let him. She nodded. 'It's a suicide mission.' Jenny nodded again.

'Be careful, mam.' Say Kryten with a warm mechanical smile. 'Pleasure meeting you.'

'Not getting rid of me that easily – I'm just going to talk to them. Stop them from attacking.' Jenny knew they didn't believe her, that they thought she had some wild and drastic unconventional plan up her sleeve, some kind of bold sacrifice. But what she'd told them really was the truth. She just wanted to talk – surely they couldn't be totally unreasonable. And if they were, she'd think of something.

'Right,' Said Lister. 'Good luck, Jen.'

'Thanks,' She grinned and hit the dial to close the door and seal the hatch. She could hear the fire a lot louder in here and wasn't sure she'd even make it to their ship. _Either this or they blow a hole in ours,_ she thought.

And Jenny launched.

* * *

The Cat awoke to the sound of a shuttle. His head was spinning but at least now the ceiling wasn't falling on top of him. The Cat pulled himself up and wondered for a moment what the hell was going on. Panic hit him. He looked down at his tangerine/salmon suit.

'Phew,' He grinned. So, if his clothes were fine, he wondered what was so wrong to have woken him. He spun around a few times and made his way to the door. 'Holly!' He crooned when he reached and found the others were gone from the control room.

'What's up dude?' She asked, a wide smile. The first thing Cat noticed was the purple, glittering party hat perched on her head – tassels streaming from the top.

'Where is everyone?' He flustered, sniffing around. 'Wasn't there an attack?'

'Lister's in his quarter,' She said breezily. 'Rimmer's in his quarters and Krytens ironing.'

'And the pretty woman?' He meant Jenny. He was pretty sure Holly was about to tell him something not good.

'On a simulant ship.' She said, a smile twitching in the corner of her mouth.

'What?' He snapped. 'How long's she been gone?' The Cat prepared to rush to their quarters.

Her head bopped happily up and then down as if she was shrugging, 'About an hour.'


	4. Species

**Chapter 4:** Species

All in all, Jenny was fairly surprised she'd survived the journey over to the simulant ship. By the time she got there though, the escape pod was practically crumbling; it was totally wrecked and covered in dents. But Jenny understood they'd shot to scare her, not kill her. Besides, they'd let her in the hatch, hadn't they? Maybe that was just because they wanted to kill her in person? – this could well be a trap. Jenny shook her head and tried to think positive.

She slid open the hatch way and stepped out onto enemy ground.

'What do you want?' She called into the empty space but no one replied. No one was out there. She couldn't help but sneak a glance at the ship. 'Wow,' she uttered. 'Fancy.' The walls we're white, metal plated, and the floor was glistening silver. There was a control panel and single chair attached the floor, glistening and fancy, rich with buttons – difficult, difficult controls – but Jenny figured she could work them. It was plush and lavish in here, generally quite lush. A lot more costly than Red Dwarf, that was for sure. Generally speaking, not the mental image she'd had of a simulant ship.

'Do you think so?' Came a voice from the doorway. It was thick like honey over gravel; Jenny could tell it was a woman. She spun round, hands in the air, showing she wasn't armed. In a way, Jenny couldn't help but wish she _was_ armed. Although her father would never approve.

'Bravery,' Stated the woman. _She_ was armed. A long, slick rifle – very, Jenny was sure, powerful. The woman was pretty and undamaged (unlike the man) but Jenny could hear nothing – no heartbeat. She was very clearly a simulant. Pretty though, long curled hair, chocolate brown in colour; forest green eyes and dressed completely in black leather. A cat suit, Jenny presumed. Her eyes were thick with mascara, outlined beautifully and her lips were red as ruby's. Jenny couldn't help but feel at least slightly intimidated. 'Not a trait often displayed by a human,' the simulant swished towards her. After a brief glance at the security camera, Jenny's eyes hardened.

'I'm not human,' She said coolly.

'Humanoid then,' Said the woman, coming closer. Her long fingers and black nails wrapped tightly around the gun.

'Time Lord-_oid_!' She spat mischievously, proud of her heritage. 'We came first.'

'I knew you sounded…. Wrong.' Said the woman. 'What's your name?'

'Jenny,' she said uncomfortably, arms still above her head, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. The woman circled her. 'And you are?'

'Sietta' Her voice was cold now. 'Not that it's important. You'll be dead in thirty seconds unless you tell me why you're here. Then it's a minute.'

'Tell you what,' Jenny dropped her hands and Sietta's riffle pointed at her. 'How about you answer my question and_ then_ I answer yours.'

Reluctantly, the simulant nodded.

'Why did you outright want to kill us? And this ship, it's not very simulant-y.' She paused, unsure if Sietta would answer. She simply shrugged and said

'We evolved.' A bitter sweet smile graced itself upon her face. 'My turn. Why are you here?'

'To tell you to leave my crew alone. You do… You live.' Jenny tried to sound intimidating and for a second was sure it'd worked. Until the woman laughed.

'You know why we don't hurt humans for sport, Jenny?' Jenny said nothing in response, only raised a perfect brow. 'Because they're not even worth it. Besides, that's no fun anymore, giving them a head start – the thing about a spontaneous attack is that you get to see them burn!' Her grin widened, showing teeth; her wild, sadistic eyes sparkled; Jenny shuddered.

'Humans are so much more than that,' she whispered. The gun clicked.

'What was that?' She hissed. 'From what I've hear of the Time Lords, you're supposed to be a superior species to the humans.' Jenny looked down as the simulant began to circle her.

'I can help you, Sietta,' she mumbled.

'I just don't see it,' Sietta continued. 'I've always wanted to kill one, though.' Jenny's hearts skipped a beat and her blood ran cold. She looked up. Sietta didn't really appear to know too much about her race, not that she was letting on, she might just make it. Jenny nodded.

'And you'll let them go?'

'I don't much care for humans, weather they live _or_ die. You have my word.' But a devilish smile slide across her lips once again, proving she was not to be trusted. What choice did Jenny have? There was no means of escape, even if she did get to the pod, there was no way that battered old thing would take off again. She sighed and her eyes flickered up to into the camera.

'I don't believe you,'

'You shouldn't.' A horrific roaring sound ripped through the air.

* * *

'Kryten, man!' Lister shouted. 'Hurry up!'

'Kryten!' Rimmer chorused, the two of them running along the hallway. The Cat was just on their heels, finally back to consciousness. Kryten was considerably further behind them. The group headed to Starbug 1. They couldn't believe all Jenny had done was talk! For all they knew she could be dead!

Rimmer couldn't help but worry that she'd taken the escape pod. Not Starbug 2, Not even Blue Midget but the escape pod. Rimmer sighed. He knew he was being selfish, he knew that he had to help Jenny but he couldn't help it. No matter how much he liked her, he couldn't help but put himself first. She'd taken the escape pod!

Rimmer kept his thoughts to himself as Kryten and The Cat caught up to them, holding weapons. He and Lister were doing the same. Their arms filled with grenades, bombs, all kinds.

Even though Jenny had sacrificed herself that wasn't enough. This was their only option.

Lister could feel his heart breaking, just a little bit. He hadn't known her long but she really cared for Jenny. Since Kochanski, he'd never felt like this about Anyone.

'Are you ready?' He asked as they reached Starbug. Rimmer gave a firm nod and made his way around the smaller ship to the entrance.

'Of course, sir.'

'You bet,' said the Cat.

They hopped into the ship, Lister taking the wheel. Quickly, Lister and Kryten flipped on dials and started her up. Without even caring to clip on the safety belt or give anyone else time to do so, Lister took off. If his hands wouldn't have gone straight through it, Rimmer would have clung to the back of Kryten's seat. The ship spun around a few times, clattered against the hatch and began to fly.

'She's gonna be okay, right?' The Cat asked after a long and uncomfortable silence.

* * *

**Oooh! Cliff-hanger. Aren't I evil? Review to find out what happens ;P**

**THANKS! Review for the sake of Gazpacho soup! **


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